Paldo "Green Tea Chlorella"

Brand: Paldo
Flavour: Green Tea Chlorella
Format: brick-in-packet
Packets: two
Identifiables: noodle brick, veggie bits, flavour powder
Sodium: 1.66 grams

Take a look at that thing. It's like a weakling packet of Maruchan was exposed to gamma radiation and mutated into a giant green shorts-wearing monster, except without the shorts or the sad music whenever it leaves town for another. This, truly, is a massive brick of green ramen. But this is no mere dye job like crappy beer at some pub that's desperately pretending to be Irish around St. Patrick's Day. This is honest green, green by lineage and by right. This is true green.

It's not the first time I've reviewed green ramen, so that part didn't surprise me. In this case it's not spinach that's responsible for the colour, but green tea powder, also known as matcha, which has become terrifyingly trendy. I must admit that I don't normally enjoy green tea all that much, but it is with the heart of a scientist that I pursue knowledge of this type of instant noodle. (Don't ask me which scientist; I assure you, he was rather surprised when I took it.) I have to admit that I thought a Chlorella was a type of compact car that could almost be the size of the noodle brick, but it turns out to be a nutritive, photosynthesising algae, which is nearly as useful.

Preparation is as simple as packet ramen gets. Everything is well-pinked for easy opening, including the outer package itself. Boil 550ml water, dump the contents of every packet involved in to simmer for four minutes. The outcome is a colourful mass of light green noodles, dark green seaweed, bright red pepper rings, and light brown broth. It barely fit into my bowl.

The taste is... blended. What I mean by that is that no particular flavour stands out much. There's a bit of green tea, but it doesn't overpower, meaking it pleasant even to my palate. The seafood base is slightly stronger, but it doesn't stand out in front either. There's a little spice, a level of saltiness that one expects from most ramen, and warm vegetable notes. This ramen may come across as nothing special, but despite its freakish mutant appearance, it's a well-rounded and mild-mannered noodle, worthy of our admiration. Perhaps there's a moral to this story, but I'm choosing to ignore it in favour of pointing and laughing at funny-looking ramen packages. I'm one of the mean kids.

Wait, the moral of the story is... if you're going to order something from Ramenbox, you can't really go wrong with this.

Numbers: packaging 3, preparation 2, heat 2, flavour 4, overall 3
Music: Jean-Jacques Perrey - The In Sound From Way Out! - Cosmic Ballad