Ottogi "Jjajang Noodle"

Brand: Ottogi
Flavour: Jjajang Noodle
Format: brick-in-packet
Packets: three
Identifiables: noodle brick, veggie bits, oil, flavour powder
Sodium: 1.20 grams

I ain't happy, I'm feelin' glad
I got ramen in a bag
I'm hungry but not for long
My taste buds are going strong.

(apologies to Two-D)

I had help on this one. My lovely wife elected to assist me on yet another experiment, a world-changing experiment (I'm certain) in ramen enjoyment. Armed with my Joker Pair of IKEA chopsticks (one cyan, one black) I ventured forth!

Three packets. Three! I thought this might be a simple review this time, but no, it taunted me. One flavour packet, one veggie packet, and one oil packet. A known combination, yet alien to most noodles destined for Western audiences. I allowed her to prepare according to directions, and I shall share the second half of those directions with you, valued readers.

2. Turn off the heat and drain water, leaving 7—8 spoons of water, add powder soup and oil stock to the noodle, stir well and serve.

Take a breath! That was a lot for one sentence.

Here, hunched over this bowl.... I usually don't take too close a look at my ramen, and this ramen should be noted as an exceptional example of why. It is, quite frankly, disgusting to behold. Thick, muddy ichor surrounding reconstituted vegetables. Most people would not want this... ah, but the taste!

Dark, beefy, with some soy, some onion, definite black bean... this is why I enjoy jjajang, however it's spelled. It's kind of like a dark beer. This is a fairly decent specimen, a little bland, but also not too salty, which is important. The noodles are a bit long for this kind of sauce, as they cannot be slurped with any sort of decorum. They defy decorum. It's like instead of boiling in water, you have to expose them to decorum and they absorb that and become cooked. Boil decorum, add noodles, stir, serve.

The dish does, however, taste better than it looks.

Numbers: packaging 4, preparation 2, heat 1, flavour 3, overall 3
Music: Gorillaz - Gorillaz - Clint Eastwood