Lucky Me! Supreme "La Paz Batchoy"

Brand: Lucky Me! Supreme
Flavour: La Paz Batchoy
Format: cardboard bowl
Packets: four
Identifiables: noodle disc, flavour powder, odd bits, crushed garlic, crackers
Sodium: 1.61 grams

Apologies for the delay, friends... I've been fearing this one for some time. It's almost the end of Batch One, but I knew that before I reached the end of my ordeal I'd have to face yet another bowl of Filipino delight from "Lucky Me!". Can any of you claim to be so brave?

The first thing I did was search all over the package for preparation directions. I couldn't find any. The closest I found was a bold line about two centimetres from the top of the bowl with the text, "Fill with boiling water up to line." I guessed that there would be a sheet with directions inside, as I'd previously encountered, but that guess was wrong. I had that sinking feeling and I hadn't even looked at the packets yet!

This bowl had four-and-a-half packets. What I mean by that is, one packet held crackers, a second only revealed its beef-scented powdery contents when opened, a third held some sort of unidentifiable peppercorn-looking dried things, and a fourth was the dreaded twin-packet; one half contained what looked to be faux bacon bits, while the other held crushed garlic in oil. The powder was easily opened, but the other packets were either pinked the wrong way or not at all so I had to use a scissors on them. I executed Operation: Guesswork, which involved putting everything save the crackers into the bowl and dousing it in boiling water. Then I saw that there was no internal line to pour to; I had to guess at that, also. So far, the only thing I knew for certain about the ramen I was about to eat was that the packaging was far more colourful than any of the ingredients.

I snalled a photo after three minutes (more guesswork). As a note, that cracker with the bite-shaped corner taken out? I didn't do that. I don't know where that corner went, because it wasn't in the package at all. By now, the terror inside had settled into a state of emotional shock; somebody else may have taken a bite out of my crackers before they were sealed, and I was about to eat a second bowl of instant noodles from the same brand that recieved my first-ever overall score of one. But really, it wasn't all that bad, right? Take a look, it came with its own fork. How convenient! Every little thing was gonna be fine.

The crackers were precisely similar to those little puffy hexagonal oyster crackers one always recieves with chowder, except flatter and rectangular and somehow more grim. The ramen itself was slightly better than the other bowl, but not by much. I still found myself repulsed by what tasted like muddy, oily water with sharp raw garlic tones, and the extra bits.... Well, I normally do my best to avoid scatological comparisons, but it appeared that a rabbit had visited the bowl before I'd gotten to it. I try not to rate based on looks (though a naruto does tend to add a little bit of charm).

Halfway through eating, I accidentally dropped the fork completely into the broth. I instinctively reach for it... then realised that it simply wasn't worth the effort. That's two failures for two attempts at this brand, and now I'll need to supplement my lunch with something that won't make me regret starting this blog.

What a way to puctuate my return after an absence, eh? And what a way to contrast my anniversary! (Nine years, Kristy. Love you more than anything, including ramen.)

Numbers: packaging 3, preparation 2, heat 1, flavour 1, overall 1

Music: Voltaire - The Devil's Bris - Anniversary